Motherhood, Identity and the “Silent war”

Losing yourself in Motherhood or something I like to call the “Silent War”, the process of slowly fading away from yourself, your interests and your passions without even realising that it is happening.

Motherhood is the greatest responsibility some of us will ever consume for some it consumes us entirely. Our dreams, goals and passions become second, third or even non-existing options. We quickly forget that the most important rule of self-preservation: You can not give long-term what you do not have.

Here are five ways to reconnect with who you are after Motherhood.Ask yourself,

1.” What can I do right now that will make me happier?”

Whether it is being happier at home, at work, finding a new hobby anything. What will make you happier right now and then ACT on it!

2. Create a weekly or monthly ritual that allows you some time alone.

Pick a day, the same time of the week, month or when you can fit it in and schedule this time for yourself on an ongoing basis.

3. Create a vision board of simple goals you have for your life.

include your plans continue education, complete education, starting a business, being healthier for example. Anything that motivates you or inspires you.

4. Enjoy something you did before you were a mummy.

Read a book, go for bike rides, travel – this one doesn’t need to be far it could be a short staycation to the coast or the countryside.

5. Find your tribe

Connect with other women you can relate to! Go for coffee or grab lunch. Talk about things other than what little Timmy smeared poop on.

At some point, we face this silent war during motherhood. Maybe we question these feelings, I felt incredibly guilty. Upon becoming parents us mums are so focused on our new baby that we are unsure on navigating this transition and effects on our personal growth. I’m thankful I have a mentor in my mother in law who explained to me it’s ok to think of me for once, to put myself first. You can’t give from an empty cup!

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